Adoption: a journey of identity
When I was one year old, I traveled from the warmth of tropical China to the rainy Netherlands. I was adopted by a Dutch couple who couldn’t have children of their own. The greatest fortune in an unfortunate situation.
I grew up in a small village where, aside from my sisters, I was the only Chinese person. Yet I never felt out of place; I belonged and never felt different from anyone else. In school, when someone had a birthday, I would sing along to “Hanky Panky Shanghai” with all my classmates, without realizing it might be inappropriate. It felt so natural to me—I didn’t know any differently. At home, we talked openly about our adoption, so I always understood why we didn’t look alike. But there was one question my parents could never answer: “Why didn’t my biological parents keep me?” That question still crosses my mind every day.
As I grow older, I find myself reflecting more on my past. It fascinates me to see how my friends resemble their parents—something so ordinary to them, but extraordinary to me. Now that I’m meeting more people, I often get asked where I come from. Their eyes widen when I share my story. “Would you like to find your biological parents?” they ask. That question always touches me deeply. Of course, I’d love to meet them, but it’s a complex and emotional journey.
One question can lead to hundreds more. “Who are my biological parents? Do I have siblings? What would my life have been like if I’d never been adopted? Is there something wrong with me?” I try to turn these uncertainties into something positive. I now realize that my identity isn’t just about where I come from, but about everything I’ve experienced and learned along the way. This understanding has given me a sense of peace and pride.
Through CHAINGE, I share my story. What’s your story? Share it with us and join CHAINGE: a movement that connects stories. Stories of joy, grief, change and growth.
Together, we can break the silence and create a world where every voice is valued.
Thank for hearing my story – Milou
I grew up in a small village where, aside from my sisters, I was the only Chinese person. Yet I never felt out of place; I belonged and never felt different from anyone else. In school, when someone had a birthday, I would sing along to “Hanky Panky Shanghai” with all my classmates, without realizing it might be inappropriate. It felt so natural to me—I didn’t know any differently. At home, we talked openly about our adoption, so I always understood why we didn’t look alike. But there was one question my parents could never answer: “Why didn’t my biological parents keep me?” That question still crosses my mind every day.
As I grow older, I find myself reflecting more on my past. It fascinates me to see how my friends resemble their parents—something so ordinary to them, but extraordinary to me. Now that I’m meeting more people, I often get asked where I come from. Their eyes widen when I share my story. “Would you like to find your biological parents?” they ask. That question always touches me deeply. Of course, I’d love to meet them, but it’s a complex and emotional journey.
One question can lead to hundreds more. “Who are my biological parents? Do I have siblings? What would my life have been like if I’d never been adopted? Is there something wrong with me?” I try to turn these uncertainties into something positive. I now realize that my identity isn’t just about where I come from, but about everything I’ve experienced and learned along the way. This understanding has given me a sense of peace and pride.
Through CHAINGE, I share my story. What’s your story? Share it with us and join CHAINGE: a movement that connects stories. Stories of joy, grief, change and growth.
Together, we can break the silence and create a world where every voice is valued.
Thank for hearing my story – Milou